Steve Fung leaves - the end of STFU

Steve STFU Fung has now left us to go and work for IFS Spain. He’s a lucky boy.
We had a big send off event at Sarah, Van and Gem’s place, the designated setting for all such functions when one cannot afford to hire a village hall or similar. Or maybe it is actually a village hall and they are actors. There were about 20 hangers-on there, some of which I recognised from work.
The theme, coincidentally, was a Spanish one. As a result Steve was dressed as some kind of slippery Iberian waiter and made to wear a broad hat and moustache in the style of a typical modern-day Spaniard. He had bought the misinformation that he was being taken out flamenco dancing, but then, so had I. There was a cake, which was in the style of the Spanish flag – I think credit for that goes to Sarah Hale, or possibly Gemma Copping. I don’t really know, because I was just flying back from Paris and got in a bit late, and I was a bit jetlagged from my holiday, and everyone was talking a bit too fast for my comprehension. It was just a blur of words and food. For all I know, Van Wyk Louw might as well have cooked the Spanish cake. Oh now I remember there was also a lot of other food. This included things like tapas and paella, which are commonly found in Spain. I believe some of these were home made while others came directly from specialist dealers, Nandos or Wickes or somebody.
At one point a PINATA emerged. This is a species of which I retain a deep suspicion, for I am sure it didn’t exist prior to MAY 2009. I had never heard of them anyway. Then suddenly in May 2009 I was surrounded by Pinatas and their uncanny proliferation seemed to me as if everyone else had had Pinatas in the backs of their minds like a nightmare for years, but had collectively somehow forgotten to actually tell anyone, and then suddenly realised and invented them and portrayed me as some kind of hermit paedophile for not having encountered them previously.
Anyway, a piñata came out and Steve took to demolishing it with The Wrath Of Fung which is some form of intense kung fu/maypole dancing derivative involving a gaily-patterned wand. It took a number of strikes before the piñata was battered out of existence and an array of chocolate and sweet type objects poured out. These were eaten, not least by Hayley. The gaystick was then reinvented as a limbo dancing bar.
I am finding this blog a bit hard to write, as my memories are a little vague. I am only writing this because Hayley bade me do it. This event took place almost 9 days ago.
Steve made a little speech, something on the theme of gratitude and parental influence, and some people started dropping things. Mostly this was Hayley, who found some breakable chinaware, glassware and some such, and dropped it. This made a mess. A bit later we got out Beatles rock band and played it. This is a game on the Xbox involving guitar playing, drums and singing. But this got a bit emotional and then Steve had to go home.
Otherwise most of the entertainment revolved around people taking the comedy moustache and wearing it in humorous positions other than upon their lip. Numerous photos attest to the hilarity engendered by this opportunity.
I can’t remember much else, except the following day, I was performing some kind of silky hat-snatch in the kitchen but the presence of my Force-distorting jedi nature induced a half-empty bottle of wine to slide across a table and down onto the floor. Upon hitting the floor, the glass of the bottle surprisingly came apart into a number of pieces and the wine itself emerged. The fluid nature of the wine meant that it flowed over quite a wide area, and being red, was in fact both visible to the naked eye and potentially liable to cause a small degree of stainage to vulnerable floor-coverings such as carpet. Meanwhile the smaller pieces of glass were considered by some to represent a minor physical danger to humans, especially children. On the plus side removing the glass and wine from the floor proved a straightforward task and I suspect, the coating of alcohol helped to kill off harmful microbes dwelling in the floor-grout.
My appreciation to Sarah and Gemma for assisting with the clean-up operation there.